HAPEEYE

HAPEEYE

HAPREYE was a monkey. Well, not really. HAPARYE was a man, but he acted like a monkey. He would climb trees and eat bananas and run around the park in his lunch break. HAPPEYR was so crazy that one day, when he saw a lorry pass by with a big picture of a banana on the side of it he chased after it until it went out of view and he could see it no more. Then he gave up and went back to work.

HAPREEY liked reggae and jazz and pop and dance music and all sorts of other music. He would dance like a monkey whenever he heard any music he could dance to. He even tried dancing to other music but it didn’t always take. Classical he found particularly difficult to dance like a monkey to.

HAOPORE was not your average man. He was a smart man who liked eating bananas with a cup of tea because it made him feel special, like his own little part of the World, a banana and a cup of tea. He slurped his tea like a monkey but ate his banana with surprising etiquette.

HAPERER didn’t much like violence. Whenever he saw violence on TV or in the street he would scream wildly like a monkey and run as far away from it as possible. He would often spend a fortune on bus fare to get back home when this happened. Ironically, due to this, he didn’t like the TV show ‘Monkey’.

HAPEOEE was partial to the odd drink. When he wasn’t drinking tea, he’d try a tipple of wine or a snifter of brandy or a shot of whisky or a lick of scotch or some other measure of some other concoction of alcoholic beverage. He sometimes enjoyed the odd drink so much that he couldn’t remember how he’d gotten home or where he was or whether he’d acted like a monkey whilst getting there. This troubled him, but luckily he didn’t do it too often.

HAPPERE was an orphan, and believed he was raised by monkeys, even though he knew he wasn’t. He treated the concrete jungle like a real jungle and treated each individual as if he or she were a jungle creature. Lawyers, he reasoned, were tigers, for example, and taxi drivers were bats.

HAPEOER liked his home and he was happy there. And he had a good selection of friends, even if they were spiders and bats and tigers and gorillas and lizards and snails and worms and beetles and other such creatures. He even knew an elephant. He was always late.

HAPEEYE was a monkey. Well, not really. HAPEEYE was a man, but he acted like a monkey. And he did such a good job of it, that everyone around him called him ‘HAPEEYE the monkey’.

And he loved every minute of it.

THE END


               -- by david s livens, 2007